All this has happened before
by leliana McKay
Summary: Laura learns that her cancer has returned. Now she has to tell Bill. Spoilers for season three.


**All this has happened before. **

**By LelianaMcKay**

Once again a story I wrote a while back… This is Laura's point of view so first person narration. Do tell me if it bothers you.

Summary: Laura learns that her cancer has returned…now she has to tell Bill.

Pairing: Adama/Roslin

Spoilers: up to season three, before Crossroads.

Disclaimers: Nothing belongs to me, RDM is the lucky owner on those characters.

Thanks to my awesome fellow-shipper beta-reader… Ellymelly!!

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_It feels like an endless circle, like my life is following an invisible line and I can't seem to detach myself from it.

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_

Once again I find myself in the med bay and hearing the words I fear the most with my entire being.

Four little words, so deceivingly short for a sentence, but a death sentence nonetheless. The moment they come out of Dr Cottle's mouth I black out. I quickly lose myself in another world.

I stop breathing. I feel the pain in my chest growing, I shiver and feel cold sweat running all over my body. I cry silently, mourning my once healthy body.

His words are still ringing in my hears. _The cancer is back …_ Those words haunting me, making sure I don't forget who I am, what I am, and that there is a destiny of pain and suffering waiting for me.

When I open my eyes again, I can see doc Cottle watching me with worry, pity or something close to it showing in his eyes. He looks close to tears himself as he puts his hand on my shoulder and says, "It's still early and this time you don't have to go through this alone."

I nod and leave the room, lost in thoughts, following the invisible line drawing my destiny. I stop in the middle of a corridor and watch some of the young pilots walk together laughing. They smile at me, salute me and then disappear through a hatch.

I close my eyes again as darkness surrounds me.

I feel my heart breaking, and suddenly there's a soft breeze in my hair. I feel the sun touching my skin, my skirt is swirling around my legs, and a rich laugh is coming from behind me. I open my eyes to find myself barefoot on the river mouth on New Caprica.

That laugh- I would recognize it among thousands.

'_Bill'_

'_Laura. So now it is you who is playing in the sand!' _He chuckles.

This is not a memory. Well, it is not a vision either but it feels so familiar. The morning after the groundbreaking ceremony, yes that's what it should have been like. I take a small breath, trying to calm my heartbeat.

'_You can talk to me Laura…' _

Bill has always been here for her. Is this what the gods are trying to tell her? That he is more important to her than everyone else. That she should tell him…

I feel his hands on my back, his breath on my neck.

'_Talk to me, tell me what's bothering you_...'

I slowly lean my head against his neck, closing my eyes and finally surrender to his closeness.

'_I'm scared, '_I manage to breathe out.

'_Don't be, I'm here with you,' _he answers.

'_Are you really?' _I ponder_. 'This is just some hallucination … again.'_

One of his hands comes around my side, I feel a tingle but restrain myself from gasping. The hand slowly comes to rest on my belly while a second reaches for my shoulder.

'_Come to me, I'm waiting for you.' _He whispers softly to me.

* * *

I awake with a start, still in the corridor, panting. My right hand is clutching at my chest. Bill's voice still ringing in my ears … _Come to me, I'm waiting for you._

My feet decide for me. A few minutes walk and I find myself knocking on his hatch.

"Come in", his voice can be heard through the heavy door, a distinct authority that can be felt even from distance.

"Admiral", I greet him with a smile.

His presence will always have that calming effect on me no matter how angry or scared I am.

"Madam President. What a surprise! I wasn't aware you were scheduled on board today."

"Something came up," I answer, avoiding his eyes.

"Are you alright, Laura?" he asks standing up and searching for some kind of clue on my face.

Slowly lifting my eyes to his, I sigh and manage to smile weakly, "I guess I won't have my happy ending".

Bill's brow furrows, apparently lost to my statement.

"What do you mean?"A thousand thoughts seem to cross his mind. That's true, what do I mean? Us? Earth? Humanity?

A tear makes its way down my cheek while I close my eyes one more time.

Bill crosses the distance left between us to brush that tear away, leaving his hand to caress the side of my face. "You are scaring me, Laura. Talk to me, I'm here for you."

He says those exact same words. A truth.

It's time to accept it, "The cancer is back". Those words come out taking my breath away.

What happens next is a blur. I feel warmth but still shiver, rough fabric but softness nonetheless, darkness is everywhere but filled with tenderness and so much light.

Bill is holding onto me as if I were the most precious thing left in his world. Something wet is pressing against my temple. I feel the ground shake, no wait, it's not the ground, not the room, it's Bill.

Bill is crying…

"Oh Laura!" he exhales into my hair.

My tears suddenly seem to mix with his.

"We will get through this, we will find a way Laura, I promise. I promise." Bill is not longer afraid of his feelings I can tell. His promise to me is a light that leads to Earth.

And somehow I believe him. I'm not afraid and alone anymore.

The end

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Reviews are love!! 


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